Dog breeders

I love dogs. I always have. I love cats, too, but while cats can be friendly and even affectionate, it's petty generally held that their love is a different kind of love from what dogs pour out. As one poet put it, in the words of the cat: "...And if I thought for a moment the lady next door would feed me one grain more than you do, I'd be out of here so fast your head would spin."

Dog love, on the other hand, is mushy, unquestioning, unconditional, nonjudgemental, and constant. So when I was a young bride, my husband and I decided we wanted a dog.

We scoured the papers looking for an inexpensive dog and didn't have a whole lot of luck. There were dozens of pit bulls, doberman pinschers, chihuahuas, golden retrievers, german shepherds (YES, DAMMIT, IT'S SHEPHERD, NOT SHEPARD), and poodles.

But that posed a problem. Ever since my mother bought and sold a few poodle puppies to supplement the family income, I have been leery of the most popular breeds. At the tender age of eight I had learnt that people who know nothing about breeding, genetics, or dog husbandry but who happened to have an ugly, displastic, pet-quality bitch at home would get the brilliant idea to mate her to the ugly, dysplastic dog up the street. Of course the 12 puppies the poor bitch gave birth to were going to make them rich rich rich! Sadly, usually nine of those puppies end up in the pound, posing for the ASPCA Sadness Shots for their next ad. A few of them get adopted and half of those end up back in the cycle of get adopted, breed, pass on your very bad genes, send the puppies to the pound.

Half the dog owners around here are engaged in this irresponsible crap. Four months ago the eldest daughter adopted a miniature poodle that was one of a litter of four. Here eyes run, her ears flop open, her legs are so long (very unusual for a poodle to have over-long legs, usually they're too short and look like furry dachshunds) her legs are so long she looks like one of the stilt walkers in the Mardi Gras parade. Her coat, instead of being a good, stiff water-dog quality, is soft and silky. Her teeth are bad, and God knows what internal problems she may have. She's sweet but she shouldn't be on this planet because she doubtless got all these faults from her mother, who is ready to produce another litter.

Please, people, this is a job for professionals, not for your incompetent, uninformed hobby. When my mom bought poodles, she bought them already born and instead of buying the long-legged, runny-eyed messes she looked at their conformation, and only bought the best. When she bred Westies, she bought a show-quality bitch and bred her to a champion recommended by an established breeder.

You should do the same. Stop breeding your physical wrecks; you're unlikely to make any money doing it, your puppies will be garbage, and you will be hurting the per world. Resist the lure of money you will probably never see. Stop. JUST STOP.